A perfect goodbye

How often it is that we say good bye without realizing, what we are giving up. People stay, time moves on. I have often felt at loss when I think about my past, often felt I have given up more than what I should have. Kept more memories, been more careful, taken more pictures.

I even lost a printed copy of all my poems-something I used to treasure (I don’t have any soft copy either) and I could not locate it. I have lost pictures of my uni days in Sydney because I broke my external hard drives and more then that, I have lost people and whatever interest I had in them. Loss is a part of life, I am no Ghalib (who himself lost majority of his work) so I don’t have a lot of sadness over my so called attempts at poetry.

People, aha! Wonderfully different, the story here, it is as if every single individual I meet is different and yet is exactly the same. Each beginning has the same ending and the same good bye comes out the same way. I guess relationships are life; they are born only to die.

This is where I can turn to Ghalib and he wrote something so immensely deep that I can not even dare to compare it how I feel (In fact, as I have heard someone say, Ghalib tells you, what you are feeling and I agree)

मिह्र्बां हो के बुला लो मुझे चाहो जिस वक़्त
Become kind/gracious and call me, at whichever time you might choose/want,
मैं गया वक़्त नहीं हूं कि फिर आ भी न सकूं
I’m not passed/gone time, that I wouldn't even/also be able to come again

A perfect goodbye, this should be. Anything that has a hint of hope, we should take. Unfortunately it is very often that we humans even stop and think of it. When we do, it is momentary and we forget even that as soon as we have any distractions (T.V. is popular for that very reason, IMO)

Here I am saying this perfect goodbye and telling me, I am not like time lost and I shall appear if called for. I have lost all sense of ego when I say this and I truly think that is the right way. I can keep on quoting Ghalib here but that would be pushing it.

So much can change for so little

Some things are better left as riddles 

 Losing and winning is all I am accounting, 

 It has been ages and I am counting. 

 Forgone, forgiven, and forgotten

this life is gloss & I see its bottom,

 Felt more than what I needed 

lost more than what I had 

if it is not just misery 

then why I am glad, I am bad? 

 Thousand faces, some million words 

thing’s you couldn’t say 

something I’ve heard. 

pain is what we all need 

but now the grief is mounting. 

 it has been ages and I am counting

I have been wicked 

and I have been wise 

 Always knew what to say 

always been rolling the dice.

 Now that I stand and take stock

 I am flaunting 

It has been ages and I am counting.

I feel, now isn't that surprising?

I feel in totality

Some things that bother me

I know I am never clear

Lets just push it off from here

And I can stop my self to see

I can stop my heart to bleed

I can stop myself to breath

But how do I stop my self to feel

Your not here I know

you’re over this

I know we’ll never hit

I am just a little strained

I can’t be myself again.

It s what we wanted it to be

But I know I am never clear

And I know I am always here

Standing like I just don’t care

Not that it’s always been bad

Not that I am always right

But we know it’s not like this

Coz you know I’ve always tried.

Are you coming back my friend?

To the unreal and the fairy life

Are you really that old my friend?

That you no longer dream at nights?

Are we really over my friend?

Are you gone and are you all right?

Are you walking this way my friend?

To see the red, yellow and purple sky

Is there something more my friend,

To say, to scream, to laugh, to lie?

And is this real my friend?

I am standing and I see no light. 

 Are we really talking my friend?

I can see you pretend

and I can’t hide my smile.

Are you really sure my friend?

That I won’t be so you will be right?

You should see more my friend,

You don’t need more courage;

just close your eyes.

You should let it fall my friend,

You can let go and we can get high.