The path I walk is just a long shot

 The way I talk is just wayward 

Living in the future

They have my dreams 

I sit here and I sit so clean 

 There is hope 

there is this desire 

There no fault 

in wanting to go higher 

There is life 

and this want to be

There you are flying free 

And then there is me

It sounds so good

when we say it slow 

Sounds so cool

 that we have to know 

I have given 

what I have to give 

Staying around to know

what it means.

There is no space 

for us to stick around 

There is no sound 

to lose your mind 

There is fun 

but fun ain’t free 

Then there is a flavour 

of these broken dreams 

And then there is me

I really wish this wasn't mine..

Can nothingness hurt, I have always told my self otherwise. I have always believed that since I am alone or decently without many attachments, it would mean I will by-pass the pain others might give to me.

But lately I have come to realise, nothingness hurts too. It is a weird pain, something you can’t explain. Some may say it’s just being lonely or un-happy. I know that it can’t so be superficial. What would be loneliness when I don’t enjoy so many I am with? How could this be un-happiness when I do not feel happy either?

Can we reason this, can I try and explain? There is chaos, there is lack for foresight and above all there is lack of something, undefined – unknown. I do not think it can be filled in with poetry, music or a person. It has to come from within. Come from a purpose of life or of existence.

I spoke a ‘friend’ the other day and she had a very interesting point. To her existence is relative to her. So death is when you ease to exist to your own conscious. You no longer are. Well in that case, I am only because I am, I am alive or I try to be not-dead. Can then I be even if I try not to be, philosophical? Well maybe- but not good enough. Why does this feel like a mid life crisis when I am yet to even graduate. (Not much time left tho, go me!)

This is a very strange feeling- like why is it like this then. I smile I laugh, I cry and I live. Then what is it that I feel the way I do. What more would I want in my life. Is it that I consciously or unconsciously want a bit too much? Am I asking for a lot here? The funny part is I am really not sure, what is it that I am asking for?

I guess U2 sings right, “sometimes you can’t make it own your own.” Now then else does one need? Please don’t tell me, ‘someone special’, that would be just so fake. (trust me I know, not like your really need to trust me or anything)

You know you are listening to allot of Sabbath!

I am free but I am addicted to smoke,

I am me but can’t say how it goes.

I am rock fan, oh! I can’t listen to pop,

Pure fucking metal or nothing at all.

It’s revolution, freedom defined,

Worship them, chant their lines.

Wearing black, singing songs,

We are giving in, that is the new reform.

It’s in good taste that we have to fight,

They do sing for then but they aren't corporatised.

It’s a strange world that we are living in,

The conformity is to never conform again!

I can choose for myself but I have to dope,

It’s all so clear that we are loosing controls.

In this mad men world, that is a problem for sure,

Popular culture or culture meant to go broke.

And life goes on!

You may not know me,

I may not be you.

I sure can find you now,

But I can’t free you.

It’s in our head,

And it is in our mind.

There is a god there,

But not that divine.

They have set a tone,

To which we all can dance.

Now we are much clearer,

Of what all we want.

So much, to put things right,

I have known this trance.

So here the theme is,

Shut up, get up and dance!